I found in a talking room on social media this, long time not seen, symptom that we like to suffer. And additionally it made me think about eternal cycle. Right now I will explain it.
A Lady wrote a question about what is the reason to love if it hurts? Countless posts arrived as „answer”, they are about disappointment in love, missing the love, pain and suffer. Except that we do not know exactly that in the background the disappointment stand or not, we could read many advices and own experiences. I was wrote of course about selfless love. About the one which don’t asks anything. Many where write that this kind of love don’t exists, only holy people knows what is it and how to do it, and nobody is holy, we are just humans. And human’s task is to suffer and so this all is good at is.
As always I tried to see the world through their eye, think with their mind and I figured out that I was in their situation. But once time is coming when the son or daughter of a men don’t want and don’t like to suffer anymore, and has enough for a life.
Than I was think about that and I find out that I was not cry since 2 years from pain, suffer, anguish. I did not even think about them. I remembered the tribulation, agony, pain from love and I realized that it was really god! I mean I needed it! It was necessary!
BUT! I don’t want to get back that life. I learned a lot from them in the past and time has arrived for them to cease. It was one decision. One moment. When I decided that I don’t want to suffer anymore. I want to love! I’m learning since then, watching the chances, how to give more and more selfless love to others.
This was the first and maybe the last when I become uncertain in this knowledge. I think of this question: Do I really don’t want to feel the heart breaking suffer anymore? It has its beauty. Maybe the eternal cycle is talking about this also, the same will came back time after time. But no. Finally I realized that if I reached this level than it has no meaning to step backward, because I can’t feel the same. You also can’t reverse time.
The decision was divided my life like Danube is dividing Hungary. Since then I know: We are not the same. Not everyone has a need for selfless love, because they did not suffered enough. Or they think that they are not more than humans. I think we are not. I think we are human and also soul. Body, mind, soul. Father, son, Holy Spirit. We are Gods. One-one pieces from the big One. We are creating what we need. Until we enjoy suffering we will get it. If it is enough, and all cells in our body shout as a thousand trombone that this is enough, than the decision will be made that we do not need more suffer.
The two basic feeling in life is love and fear. Everything else comes from this two. If fear is enough, than what will be left?