It is important to understand the proverb „every man is the forger of his own destiny”. However I’m not fully agreed with it. I’d rather say that destiny is the road what we could not leave if we are making good decisions and the road, life itself is what we forged. Every hammer blow is a decision. Of course there are only a few persons who can make good decisions every time. 😀 What does it mean that good decision? What is good? For who and when, where? Do we have to decide these also? Well, yes. But fortunately there is a very good way for that. 🙂
Our life stands from decisions. When to wake up, what to eat for breakfast, what clothes take on, which way to go to work, what to go with, with which topic do I have to start to work… and so on. We make decisions all the time but mainly they are automatically done. How bad word is that our life is almost automatized… How it this possible? World is leading us and so habits are developed. They tell you what to buy in the shop, what is healthy and what is not, which is the better car, which is the cheaper diaper, and everything else is told for us with advertisements, neighbors, shopkeeper, the priest in church, and even the postman can offer to you a better insurance. We get information from everywhere and sometimes they are unnecessary. Our mind is full filled with every kind of trash, no wonder if we are tired, we are running all the day. The ordinary way is easier in this situation. Oops, and now we are ready to be controlled, prisoners of the rote, we live in the cell of safety. And if this is not enough than there are our „well-wishers” like our parents who want us to be a lawyer, doctor, teacher because it is a well payed and decent job. A small influence again which is not considering the human, the lover, the independent, unique being. What is the solution for that? I heard advices like: Don’t watch television because it is the evil’s device. Don’t buy foreign product, don’t go that way, you don’t know that, etc. Does this evil circle have no end? From one side I get what should I buy, eat, do and where to go. From other side what NOT to buy, eat, do. Thank you, but this is still the controlling and where is my freedom? My own independent thought based on feelings, consideration?
My solution is that I’m thinking with heart if I have to decide. No matter how big things we are talking about. I will decide as it is the best for me. This sounds like a very huge selfishness suddenly, right? 😀 First I thought that I’ll be selfish if I think like that. But if I’m honest to myself and I look around than I notice that the persons around me who I love are important. And if they are important for me and so do I than if I’m happy is good for everyone, and if I’m happy than they will be happy also. There are some who will not like this. I’m not speaking about big decisions it is enough if I talk about that I eat brown bread with seeds and my brother grimaces a little for that. I have to lose some weight and I want to eat healthy and he has to gain weight. If he comes than I’ll cook something what he likes. The fact that I decided to eat healthy does not have to affect others life. What about bigger decisions? Okay. Do I accept the men for myself for who I feel only respect? No. Rather I stay alone than not to be myself even if he is nice, rich and also loves me. If I do always what is good for me than my surroundings will feel better themselves because the most important thing is that what comes from our decisions has effect on everything and everyone.
Sometimes there is no way to make a decision without hurting someone. Do not harm anyone on purpose I would emphasize this. But fact is that if we find the best way in order for feel ourselves good, even after a bad decision, the positivity, happiness, love, freedom and everything what is good is possible. We have to admire that our every decision has effects on our life at first but for others life also. We have to bring out good from everything. Light from darkness, positive from negative. Don’t try to make it complicated. It is simple. If you are doing good things, try to decide good than the world will reflect the good back to you. The good mood, people, offers. But most of the time we don’t notice it because of our limits! There are always hard decisions and troughs but they are other topics: Tasks and ordeals. We should learn from everything, and see the beauty in everything. This should be decided first. Considering the conclusions and with that we can form the negative things into positive in ourselves, and then we can move forward. And in the next same situation we can recognize how NOT to decide again. Let us solve the problem from other side maybe we can make good decision in this time. If not than we realized another way which is bad for us.
If a road toward a city is closed than I’ll go on another way! If I want to get into, then I’ll get into the city. If I decided something than I’ll do for to take the best solution, and if I’m wrong than there are other ways left. One of my friend become guarantees for her girlfriend before the crisis. They are not counted with the financial crisis and so they got a big problem. I could not hear anything else from my friend than the complaints. What was the result? He got more bad things. It was showering in his neck. Until we not make the decision in ourselves about that I’ll not suffer anymore, I’ll search the solutions until that good things will not happen. This is decided deep inside. We want this. If you think about what is the best for you with clean heart than you have to do it also. But between the „I want” and the act is the decision! And in the background of decision are understanding and acceptance walking hand in hand. We have to understand. What? This depends on the subject of decision. We have to understand ourselves, others, our needs, the excess, what we need for real and what is what we really want. We have to accept the situation, the past with understanding. And if we understand than we can learn from it, we accepted it than we decided. This decision is the life situation in where you want something so much that you decide not to wait anymore. You want to do something for it. You decided that’s enough or you want more or you will not suffer anymore. Because you understand the meaning and you learned from it. You accepted it and with that you closed it. And so with a new page but smarter you can continue and decide!
As the gray foggy veil of rote, the control will fall down from your eyes you can see the solutions. This kind of thinking gave me such a freedom and calmness which I can’t explain here and now with words.
This whole thing has one key sentence: Sincerity has a huge importance in this, but this if a topic of an upcoming post… 🙂