Back to one previous life –The journey

I did not know anything. I have no idea what was this. Before the journey my guider told in some words what I have to do, what would I feel, what can happen and what cannot happen! I was terribly nervous…

I will not explain the period of preparation because this is a technique which is made by the guider I do not had to do anything. And the few small thing what I saw during that time have no meaning.

I saw the events like I was a conjoined twin of myself grown together at my shoulder. I was standing always next or behind of myself.

I have arrived to a pasture-land. It was a flowery, round meadow and it was summer. A line of high trees was leading me out from the green. I was walking on this way. I could not see more than the half of the road, after that I saw only the white nothing. (Later my guide told that I was blocking it). I went through a forest. At the end of the forest I could see dry rolling land in front of me. There was a small dusty village which had a red roofed church in the center. I want into the village. Maybe two hundred or less peoples lived there. I was living in one of the house with my mother. I was 16-17 years old. My mother was cleaning a carpet in the window while she was yelling with me because I disappear every time. She was angry. She was a pretty big women and she had blue clothes with short hair. I did not saw but I got a feeling that I have a brother who is a baby. I do not have father. I think he left my mother. Dusty roads are leading to the cobbled main square. It was a beautiful summer day but I saw nobody on the streets. They went to the hill next to the village to celebrate something. I went there also. Hilarity, barbecue was there. They knew me. An old man was very happy to see me. But I did not know who he was, maybe a neighbor?

I sit down to a bench, kids where running, everybody had a good time except me. As if I’m not belonged there. Or I don’t want to be there. It was not my world. I wanted more. Then we jumped.

A wedding was prepared in the church on the main square. Everyone was in white. I was not invited. I felt that my family was not invited but the whole village was. I was standing in our street and watched the wedding. I was angry. I was very, very angry. I almost felt the knife in my hand I wanted to kill the fiancé. No matter how hard I tried we could not figure out why I wanted to kill him. With my guide we just figured out that he could be a teacher. Maybe I was angry because he did not want to teach me and I could not learn from him? I don’t know exactly. However I knew that he is a good men and he’s teaching could bring me to a good way. Jump.

I’m in a high school in a city. Here I understood that I’m in late of 17th century or the beginning of 18th. Horse-drawn chariot where running on the streets. There is a huge school and a college together. They are in one big building in circular shape. The decorative ashlar columns were very high. The simple arches characterized lower fragments where carved from dirty black stones. There were a few women rather boys went into this school. It was autumn. I was educated by my mother formerly this was the first time I was in school. I did not felt good myself here also, my roommate was not a reliable girl (in this life she was my classmate from prime school). I had no friends. I was silent, reserved. Then jump. An interesting brown, leather and iron bounded old book I hold in my hands. I feared for it and I was hiding it. My guide asked that from where I got this book? I said I got it from the library. It was hidden in the wall. How do I know that it is there? A women sad it to me but I do not remember that I meet her anytime. There where symbols in the book they are used for black magic. When everyone went home the women came and we learned from the book together. Jump.

I received such a diploma thing in a church. My mother was there but she was scared. She was scared from me. The woman was also there who taught me. I remember that I was proud to finish the school without learning. I already used magic and with the help of that my grades becomes good. I cheated. My mom wanted to warn me, she knew that women from news, but she understood that she lost me long ago and so she went home sadly. I went with the women. We headed back to the school. We sat down in the center of the stone building. The women offered for me to continue my learning with her at north. I accepted it. I had no friends and my mom was not important. The power was more important. I did not know the women well only that she knew important people. She helps them to get what they want.

I believed I will be the only student but there were 6 more students and there were more teachers as well. We learned to fight and using magic. Later when we were ready we got a task. We all got one by one a region leader some kind of lord. The task was to kill them so that their power will stay at us.

I got one middle aged tubby men as target. He had a beautiful wife and a beautiful faced daughter with long brown hair. I could get closer to them because I lied that I am a cousin from far away. I could prove it with things that I read out of their mind. I could see their memories, thoughts. They let me in. First I was waiting a watching. I wanted to make it good. The head of guards was suspecting something but I flirted with him. We talked. I remember that the house was „U” shaped including with a lot of rooms, kitchens, servant rooms. It was a dusty small place with brown walls with nothing special. Simple but rich house it was. We were standing with the guard at archway looking on the courtyard. I remember that I was thinking about killing or seduce him. I could not be sure if I seduce him that after he won’t betray me. Anyway I decided to make this. He was my lover for a long time. I went to the kitchen I had to know everything about this house. There the cook was my current mother. She was completely different from now. She was strange because except her I could see fear in everyone’s eye. Like she knew who I am and why I am here but she was not afraid of me. I was not dealing with her anymore.

 Time has arrived to kill the Lady first. I invited her to a travel. I planned to throw her out from the horse chariot after I poison her. My plan was almost ruined when her daughter decided to come with us. I stunned her so I could say later that we were sleeping and we do not know what happened with the Lady. After we left the place where I threw out the Lady’s body I started screaming that we lost her. The girl did not wake up. The stunning was too good. I was worrying. I tell to everyone that she was very scared and she passed out from the stress of happenings. Later I made up with her and so I could get closer to the Lord. The mourning took only 3 days in this place. After that the little family was still sad and I offered for the Lord that I will marry him. For him it had no meaning but her daughter was happy about it, and so he accepted. A little bit later with the help of my lover, the head of guards, we killed him in the hallway. A servant was the scapegoat. He had no choice because I threat him that I will kill his family. He was young with a baby and a wife. He was forced to accept it. I also neglected the daughter and my lover after this. I was focusing on the things of the region. The women, my teacher, came to visit me. She said only that I have to wait. I had to revive the region and wait. I made so. My guider was asking my next jump to the day of my death. The first thing I saw was a hand! A hand was in front of me. In background there was white light. Later I understood that my lover choked me. I should kill him earlier, but for now it had no meaning. I let myself die. I could get free myself but I did not made it. Many feelings where whirling in me. Disappointment, sadness because I could not finish the job with what I was entrust, etc. But also I had enough, it was not good. Somewhere deep inside I felt that this is not good what I am doing. The girl saw how I am got killed. She did not felt sorry for me. I think she knew who I am.

My guider asked what I learned from this. Knowledge should be used for good things! This is the lesson. I felt sorry for many things and I was suffering for many things. During my trip my guider asked me to do this and that. Forgive for myself or others. I made it. Many times it was difficult. It was very, very difficult. He can see if I am not doing it from my hearth and so he asked me again and again. 🙂 It is a difficult thing! 😀

Many blocks where released in myself and I got many answers with this travel! For example, why I was curious about magic? I always was interested about afterlife or not to choose the wrong roads. Help others and not harm them with my growth. Learn trust in others. Trust in people and accept their advices! 😀

Finally I could meet with my higher self. A little, strange, happy, balding men he is. He was nice. 😀 I could ask from him. I was asking my main question: What is my task for this life? I got my answer: You know and you are on the right path. I have to help others but mostly myself. My senses are good I have to listen to them and there would be no problem. I will not leave my path. He also warned me I should hurry a little bit. I have to focus on this. Take it serious. I was asking when I will meet my great Love. I am a naive and romantic women! 😀 He laughed and sad that I do not have to worry about right now, but he told that 1-1,5 year I have to wait for that. I asked some other things, but allow me to keep them as my secrets. 😀

We were visiting the house of secrets. This was a see-through small house. We opened the door which had 3 segments. I found myself in an even smaller room. There where shelves with full of books. Old, dusty small place it was. Like nobody was there since 1000 years. In opposite site from the door there was a small desk. Studded red leather desk it was. A small chest was on the desk. I opened it and I found letters in it. I did not want to read them.

Then I came back. My body was in pain! 😀 But this was an amazing experience and very useful!!!

Many things where not going easy. I could not see many things, like what is my name. Or I could not found friends from my current life. These are shortcomings. To be honest I was afraid to read the letters. I felt that I’m not ready for what is written in them. Maybe next time I’ll do it. 🙂

Taking it all round I got many answers. It was interesting and I’m sure that I got addicted! 🙂

Not talking about the many blocks I got released which’s affect I will feel in the near future!!!

This is a thanksgiving for my guider!!!

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