Unknown world

We call unknown the segments of universe what we do not know. Or the person who’s personality stands very far from us and we can’t understand his lifestyle. Even to the artist branch which is not interested by us. We say it for many things: This is unknown world for me.

This is unknown for us. We who lives in planet Earth, goes to work day by day, learn in school, play, raising children, Sunday afternoon we eat popcorn in the cinema. But what if THIS unknown world is something what we know deep inside but we forgot it? Just like we do not remember from our childhood all the factors which where affecting our personality, life. How could we than remember to the time before our birth… maybe our true „Home”?

Maybe this sounds wired when I’m saying that during of searching myself I feel more and more that I could not found my place anywhere. This process called life is for me the unknown world. I know that I’m Hungarian. I speak Hungarian I eat Hungarian food and however I think this is a beautiful country I could not feel it for my HOME. I tried to image my life in other countries, which is to be honest almost impossible because we do not know how is the life there until we did not experience it, I tried to leave myself to my feelings. I like Italian for example. Nay! They amazes me, they are full with mysteries, peace, desire and everything what they love. But still I don’t feel that I would belong there. In despite of my nostalgia which is pulling me back my heart since I once was there.

I started to think not in cultures but in religions maybe this leads to some result. Islamic religion I could exclude very quickly because I am a woman this is not mine religion. Christian religion? I am Greek Catholic but since my first Communion I wasn’t on any mass. Except for one case Christmas Mass in my town in Bazilika. The concepts of church exhaust all of dislike in me just like policy! Let us see some more specific religions. Buddhism I liked. I like it but I could not take all their teachings without reservations. Somehow I feel that there are no place in this world where could be good for me. At least on this planet because I do not remember that I was visiting other places and so I could not declare in bigger circle. I can accept many things, I can live with them or I can find my happiness in them. But this is not a thing or place neither a person. For me this world is the unknown. Like, I am taking a trip here. Like I am here to search something but I don’t know what.

We are just traveling in the cycle of life and death. During our trip we learn and grow. This is good and nice but I am a human who has basic need for roots, bounds, some kind of handhold for the surviving instinct, for the sense of security. I do not have it and I miss it. I am a stranger in an unknown world and however I really love the learning, I also want to know who am I and where do I belong. I think I should continue my studies in this way. Gurdjieff`s teaching:” Ask a question a simple question just when you fall asleep: This is the reality? This is the reality? Repeat this question while falling asleep… and so once, at one day it will get to your dream also and there you can ask the question: This is the reality? That day will have a big blessing for you.

If you can ask the question “This is the reality?” in a dream than it will disappear. On side you are asking on other side the dream disappeared. Suddenly a big awakening will happen. You become awake while sleeping and the dream will continue –this is why this experience is so wonderful. You are sleeping; your body sleeps, your mind sleeps but something which is beyond body and mind becomes awake; an eyewitness appears. „This is the reality?” –if you ask this in your dream… and for this is very hard to remember, because when you dream you forget completely yourself. Therefore this method is. –why you fall into sleep, repeat this:” This is the reality? This is the reality?” You fall in sleep while repeating this question.

After three-four months it will happen –the question appears in dream: This is the reality? And you will experience the most profound experience of your life. When the question appears the dream will disappear and endless space and quiet appears instead. There will be the dreaming but a small light of consciousness will glitter. And only that time you realize the life and the illusory nature of it. Than you will truly see that the world of desires, ambitions, envious is just a dream what we dream with open eyes. And if you can see that this world is also just a dream than the true awake is just one step forward.

But do not forget that faith does not help. No matter to believing that this world is just an illusion –In India millions believing this and repeat like a parrot “This world is just an illusion” and things like these. But everything what they say is a droll, tomfoolery because this is not their experience. They heard it from others and now they are repeating it. They do not know. They do not have evidence for it and that is why it has no effect on their life. Just repeating that this world is not real and at the same time they living in it like who think this is a true world –there is no different there is no qualitative different.

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