In order to understand someone we have to hide in his skin or we have to use very same experiences. But if we do not have experiences than how we should live the problems of a poor man if we are rich? Why is it good for us at all?
I was labeld by Dr. Csernus and later by other acquaintance for a „mother hen”. In fact it is truth on me because I always wanted to help on peoples. I found gents who had problems whom –I thoughted – I have to help. Acquaintances who had problems where coming to me for help. And I met strangers who where sent by destiny to me who needed someone, friend or stranger who can give them support. Even in the collegiate period of my life somehow everyone found me with his problem, sorrow. I was glad because I could feel myself important, sometimes I thought I am wise. This was very good for my inner self (Okay, also for my Ego) I knew that with help of others I can develop myself also!
From the beginning I had so much empathy in myself that it was very easy to put on problems from other persons to understand it. After that I slip down the problem, saw it as an outsider and the help of my experiences, intuitions I could give some solution for it. Solution was not to tell them what and how shall they act. I can not live behalf of nobody however I understand this afterwards. Problems what we are facing with we have to deal with on our own. I can give help if needed and if they accept it or if they ask for it. I can show the way what is right in my opinion. Things after that are choosen freely.
When I saw that they are getting better because of acting as I advised than I felt a very big joy is flowing in me. As deeper I lived their troubles and pleasures as deeper I sink into their problems the more I started to FEEL. I become identical with that person, I become equal with the problem and at the end I become one with the joy or the sorrow. There where time when I wanted to help because I saw someone is suffering… I almost become violent and if he did not wanted my help, he did not realized the problem or he feel that he can solve it alone than I broke him so hard that can not told in here. I overdone it. It had a big price to learn when and how much I should help when they need me and how much I can let go my feelings, emotions. Although handling my emotions are still not going well at some places. 😀
At home I can let my feelings go: I cry on an commercial or if have the mood than I do not cry for months because I am so happy that I can not cry at all. For now I can easily „slip in the skin” and help to ther persons who I know.
My friend Làszlò is my newest „victim” if I can say this egoists word, who I can help and so I will advance also. One afternood we talked many hours about Laci`s problem we tried to find the reasons, see the problem in other view, „slip in the skin of other” to help understend what and why others are doing „against” Laci. He sad that this made him thinking and he get some peaceful feelings. When we started to talk (I watched him, and he do this with everyone) he bow his head down and he is watching from there, like someone is pushing down his head and he should lurk from there… This is a very unconfortable thing for the other person, but this is not conscious act from Laci. When we finished our chat I told him, I do not know that he noticed this, but after the first tierce he started to lift up his head, he become opened for me. I could talk to his face, he showed himself, opened himself… It felt good, he honored me with his trust.
One thing is sure. For fully understanding we need to use our own experiences from an outsider point of view, or we should use them after we closed, drwan them as an edification. The coin has two side. I try to see everytime the other person. Slip in his skin and so understand what are his feelings. And maybe this is the most important for making me able to show the good way.
I am sure and I feel it that the more peoples I help like above, the more my intuitions are advancing because I get more and more experiences from them. I try to Identity with the other person. And so intuitions are growing.
A word more than a hundred I am glad if I can help. I think it is worth to stay in this way. But I have to be aware I can not feed my EGO during this expereiences this should serve my development, to help others to find the good way, and to make this fill myself with love.
One short story:
One of my friend was visiting me we talked while we where listening for music. The next music was a jazz music. I like jazz, to be honest I like every kind of music, but my friend did not liked jazz. I asked why?
-Because this is a mess, it has no meaning.
-Why we have to give a meaning to everything? Why something what is so beautiful should have a meaning?
But he`s opinion was that this is not beautiful. It has no scheme, it is disturbing.
Than I turned this to the opposit:
-Think in the place of the saxophone player. You take a instrument on what you learned to make sounds. You start to blow just because. Without any sheet music, rule, order. Just for your own happiness, freely! You do what you want! You play that tune which you like. This is the freedom! This is why I like it.
He was staring at me like he hear me talking for the first time. 😀
-Hm… so it is different. –He said – I was not thinking on this.
Everything has two sides. We just have to watch and understand.