I don’t even know how many times I’ve heard this sentence! But somehow it always felt empty to me. Sure, sure, I thought. Then I thought about it in depth and I figured that I was right. 😀 For what reason would my dog chew at my phone charger’s cable for the second time, rendering it useless and forcing me to go and buy a new one? Or for what reason would the shop next door have everything except for that very important ingredient to my dinner, and make me visit all the other shops, which might not be open anyway? For what possible reason would something or someone sabotage my afternoon, my supposed alone-time? These are meaningless, annoying things, and I couldn’t – I wouldn’t – believe that there was any sort of meaning, or reason to them.
Well, it became clear that if I approach the world with love and tranquility, it may have some pleasant surprises for me in return. As I was exercising these two feelings anyway, it was not hard to notice the reasons I was so sure didn’t exist.
I stepped into the shop that sells phone gadgets with the following sentence:
“Good afternoon! I’d like to have a charger for XY type of phone.” Only the signs of total impatience, ire and apathy could be read from my face, but the shop assistant just gave a smile and asked: “Dog or kitten?”. I burst out laughing instantly, all my bad feelings were gone in a blink of an eye. We had a little chat with the kind shop assistant, and I left with a smile on my face. I also came to realise that I couldn’t raise a dog irresponsibly. The charger should be put out of my dog’s reach when I leave home, and there will be no trouble.
When I went to another shop to buy ingredients for my lunch, I ran into one of my old friends. I haven’t seen him for ages and we had a nice chat, he told me a great deal about himself and I was happy to hear that he was doing well. I went along with good feelings again.
My plan for some chill alone-time in the afternoon was sabotaged by my mother, who called me and said she’d drop by, and also would like to stay the night. You have to know that she talks a lot, even just listening to her takes up a lot of energy. But all right, so be it. I decided that I was just going to have a good time, I wouldn’t let anything ruin my mood (I’ve been mostly practicing how to turn bad things into something good), I would try to keep her mind off of work (she always talks about work), and that we’d have a pleasant afternoon together. And we had. I planned some activities, we had snacks, drank a bit, had a chat. It was nice. I didn’t regret that my planned-to-be-lonely afternoon ended up like this!
But maybe it’s even easier to see that everything happens for a reason, if you look at greater, more significant things. I had many relationships that went up in smoke, but from which I learned a lot. To be honest I’ve learned from each of them about myself, about the other sex, about other people. Except one. There was one relationship that I did not understand. It was nice, but it did not really work out because we were so different. I did not understand the reason to this relationship though, or what its lesson could be. Nothing ever happens in vain, so I did not understand… But after time, a long time, I figured it out. While we were together, he was studying an ancient religion, Sirius and stuff like that. Since then I’ve experienced a lot of paranormal, transcendental things, but still this was a bit far-fetched for me. When I was complaining about my boss, he told me to love him. I was shocked, I told him that it was impossible… He insisted that I had to try to love him as a human. That I should try to exude a sort of positive energy, vibe towards him and I should believe that our relationship would change. Much later, as a last resort, I tried this. There was some success. Compared to nothing, some success can feel quite huge. So I continued. At that time I did not know where this energy came from. It was very difficult to find anything in my boss that could inspire respect, or would help me love him as a human, but in the end I did it. How? I’ll tell you of course. I started to create a list of things I knew about him. Not as a boss but as a person. He had children, a beautiful wife, he took care of them very well, they were moving into a new, bigger house, bought a new car, etc. So, he was working hard to provide a better life for his family. That’s not as common as you would think! 😀 I already had one thing on my list. 😀 I continued the search. I liked his voice. He had quite an interesting voice, I liked to listen to him talk. I didn’t focus on what he was saying, but rather on how he was saying it. One more thing to add to my list. Not much, but good enough to help me with beginning to love him. Then he started to change. He didn’t order me around like I was his servant anymore, we’ve moved onto a “please – thank you” level. We smoked together and had a chat. I got to know him more and more and so I found further things about him to respect and love. Of course all this didn’t happen in one day, I had to be patient and keep the positive energy. It goes without saying that I do realise now what I’ve learned from that relationship. There was a reason to why he had to be a part of my life.
Everything happens for a reason, and if we look carefully, there are many and more signs that confirm this. We just have to keep our hearts and eyes open.
In short: when you know what it means that everything happens for a reason, and you also feel that in your heart, there is no such a thing like disappointment anymore, or bad things, there isn’t a rock bottom, there isn’t financial breakdown, there isn’t loneliness etc. Because you know that everything happens for a reason. A very simple reason: learning. Smart people never learn from another’s mistake, because they will never be able to feel its full gravity, and so they will never learn from it. Smart people are aware of why things happen to them. Maybe not immediately, maybe they’ll figure it out much later, but they will be aware of the reason. They learn from it. They improve.
There is one big force that can set you back and doesn’t allow you to succeed. Maybe the biggest mistake you can commit: fear.